A Pedestrian's Review of Kick-Ass (contains pseudo-spoilers)

I saw Kick-Ass last night.

A lot of critics said that what really bothered them about the film was the fact that young people/children were shown killing relentlessly, and at a few points were being beaten to a pulp. To be completely honest, neither of those things bothered me. Aaron Johnson (Kick-Ass/Dave Lizewski) and Chloë Grace Moretz (Hit Girl/Mindy Macready) handled their roles like pros. Seriously, everyone and their mother knows Moretz killed it. She's amazing. And no matter what anyone says, Johnson was great in his role. Of course it helps that I find him insanely attractive (those lips!; that hair!; those eyes!), but I digress.

So yeah, it wasn't the shootings through-the-skull/out-the-chin that bothered me, or somewhat watching a guy be microwaved to death (although, as a friend noted, I jumped at the blast). It wasn't Hit Girl calling the bad guys see-you-next-Tuesdays. It wasn't even Frank D'Amico (Mark Strong) later kicking the shizznit out of her that bothered me. Before I continue, I need to explain that I'm not an advocate of crass language or overt violence, but rather find it can be "appropriate" when "in context" (as "appropriate" or "in context" as one can get). I thoroughly enjoyed 300, Kill Bill Vol. 1 and 2, Sin City, Gangster No. 1, and all other such clever, bad-ass, blood-laden films. Don't dare ask me why. Don't criticize the directors, producers and screenwriters as to why. Do consider the R rating.

That said, there were two things that rattled me, at least longer than they probably were supposed to. One scene involved Nicolas Cage. The other involved a hit-and-run. Both scenes were painful to watch, but I'll leave it to your own devices to figure out which one bothered me more.

Rating: 9.75 out of 10