Thursday, September 23, 2010

Dating in Los Angeles, Part Two

The last few months have involved my actively dating again. Not one person in particular, mind, but many people. I'm still not sure how I like it, but it's not the worst thing in the world. There have been a number of mediocre instances and so far only one bad date, but the rest of it has been rather peachy. Entertaining. I've made a new friend. And in all that I haven't screwed anyone over, that I know of. Bonus points for me.

The other night I met up with a guy in West LA. I took the Orange Line to the Red Line to a Rapid bus and walked the rest of the way to his place. The route was a little out of the way but wasn't impossible to bear, mainly because I had a thick book for school to tear apart on the way. But I did compare the route to the time of day involved in getting there (he lives alongside the 405), and without a vehicle I went very much out of the way in order to get there. I'll have to check again because we met up later in the evening, but I believe that I could have taken the 761 - which goes on the 405 - a fair share of the way there.

This is just me pondering and wondering about better planning. One of the many reasons I'm glad I'm looking around for a car is because I am making these comparisons. These comparisons lead me to wonder why anyone in any place of authority thinks it beneficial to have such indirect ways of service in a city that is so spread out to begin with. The time of day shouldn't matter. In fact, I had a conversation with someone just yesterday about who thought it was a good idea to have some lines stop service at an obscure time, like 7:23 in the evening or something.

Metro, you've raised your fares and have cut your lines. I'm tired of asking, but I'll ask again without the million details: where is the benefit in this maneuver? Who really is benefiting? You have greatly emphasized the issue of class, and perhaps race, and tax bracket in the way that you have chosen to operate... a statement that is best for another post for another time, but still needs saying. Someone must think it's funny. But it's not.

Anyway, on a more positive note and to tie in the overall theme, I need to enter a little math into the love-connection equation---

All of my 'interesting' (loosely-termed) dates have been from online dating site OkCupid. The ones where I could see the end from the beginning. The ones I'll be writing a book about.

However, the ones where I actually got somewhere, I met the guy in real life. This most recent one I met at a party. Now, granted I found out about the party through friends online, but still. I'm more at a position where I can see the second date from the next block, and not a mile away. Perhaps. Maybe. Who dares know? (Rhetorical question.)

I really don't think I'm cut for online dating, but I won't rule it out entirely. There are some kinks to work out - such as, first of all, how willing am I to date so actively in general. I've got great people in my life and I'm okay with being single. That and I don't like the idea of going through a million people, but I guess that's where the whole needle-in-a-haystack imagery comes from. Pearl in an oyster, maybe?

I've made a few other good connections via OkCupid - including but not limited to a guy who wants to make a bikini for me to wear to the beach this weekend (long story, but kind of cute) - that, perhaps, having a car in due time will make easier to jolt, at least on my end.

Perhaps. It's just a thought.


  1. Recently I've heard that a dating site limits the geographical radius for matching people in Manhattan, due to data showing that Manhattanites were less inclined to travel long distances. I wonder if there is a dating site for transit users that pairs people who live on the same, or at least intersecting (how cute!) lines.

  2. Next date you go on make them meet you were it's easy for YOU to get to. None of this meet half way crapola ok? You make him meet you, not at your house, because what if he's crazy, but make him meet you at the coffee shop or something and easy cycling or walking distance from your house. Then you take the bus some or train somewhere together, the journey itself would be part of the date.

    That's my big sister advice :)
    I know about more than just Metro.


  3. @francis I wonder about that, too. Maybe you and I could put some figures together and launch one of our own. :) TBH, I'm looking really local, like no more than fifteen miles' distance at this time until I get a car - which oddly enough I notice that some people who drive are looking for the same thing. I find it funny that I'm willing to travel that distance by bus/bike, and they are by car, but not much further. It's nice having someone down the street, down get me wrong. But c'mon, now. Who's at the 'greater advantage'?

    @Browne Thanks for the advice. :) Sometimes I could be a little more assertive (and usually I am; that's usually how it goes unless I feel more 'comfortable'). Some guys aren't used to dating girls without cars and I get it - it's LA. But some of the best of us are - without cars, that is. Not to toot my own horn, but really, to toot the horns of others as well... they don't know what they're missing. Looking in unexpected places can reveal something you weren't expecting.